I’m Afraid To Dream Big

A Narrative Shift

This is the Narrative Shifts series. Bust one limiting belief every week and rewrite your empowering narrative. You get reflection prompts, reinvention steps (fun, doable action steps to keep you moving forward), and a juicy worksheet to guide you. Reclaim the starring role in your own life story. It’s like Glinda said, “You’ve had the power all along, my dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.”

I used to think dreaming big required knowing how to do everything myself. Turns out it just required admitting I couldn’t.

We tell ourselves we’re being “realistic” when we shrink our dreams down to pocket-size. But what we’re really doing is pre-rejecting ourselves before life gets the chance. It’s the ultimate protection racket, really.

You can’t be disappointed if you never really wanted it anyway, right?

I spent years being the Dream Assassin, and had a whole system down pat. The big idea arrives (my idea brain doesn’t really know how to shut up!). Brain immediately catalogs everything I don’t know how to do. Idea dies before lunch. Rinse, repeat.

I couldn’t suggest that software development because I didn’t personally know how to code it. I couldn’t expand internationally because I’d never navigated customs forms. You get the picture.

I thought “I don’t know how” meant “It can’t be done.”

What it really meant was “I’m terrified of wanting something that might require me to ask for help.”

Then came my China wake-up call. I reached out to a China Relationship Liason. This was not his actual title. Back then he was more likely to be called Outlandish China Factory Man, because not many people were taking individuals out to the Wild West (East) of Chinese Manufacturing. I laid out my sensible, measured, completely reasonable plan to expand manufacturing to China. I’d go to the Canton Trade Fair in a few months. Do my research. Build relationships slowly. Take small, careful steps.

He interrupted: “Why are you doing it that way? Let’s just go now.”

Six weeks later I was squatting over a toilet in a hot steamy, factory having ignored the advice to not drink the tea. (How could I not drink the tea? I had to be polite!) But seriously, eight weeks later I traveled back to The Bahamas with four contracts in hand and a newly launched wholesale website on my laptop.

Here’s what nobody tells you about big dreams: They’re not solo missions. They’re magnets for the people who know the parts you don’t.

A heroine never goes anywhere without her allies. When you finally let yourself want something bigger than your current capability, you attract the people who’ve already figured out your impossible. Your job isn’t to know how. Your job is to know what you want clearly enough that the how can find you.

The software I couldn’t code? Found a developer who’d been waiting for exactly that idea. The international expansion I couldn’t navigate? Attracted a logistics expert who made it look easy. The Canton Fair that seemed impossibly complex? It became an annual adventure with someone who knew the way.

Your dreams aren’t too big. Your permission slip is too small.

And somewhere out there, someone is waiting to help you make the impossible look inevitable. They just need you to stop pre-rejecting yourself long enough to say what you actually want.

Out loud. Without apology. Like you believe it’s already on its way.

Because once you stop needing to know how, you create space for the people who do.

Narrative Shift:

Limiting belief:

I’m Afraid To Dream Big

Empowering narrative:

Dreams give me direction and energy - and attract the allies who know the way..

Reflection Prompts:

• What opens up when I give myself permission to dream big?

• Where am I confusing “I don’t know how” with “It shouldn’t be done”?

• What dream am I pre-rejecting to protect myself from disappointment?

Reinvention Steps:

• Write down one “impossible” dream and brainstorm one tiny step toward it

• Share your biggest dream with someone who’s done something impossible themselves

• Start a “Dream Team” list - people who know things you don’t but believe in what you want

Worksheet Link:

Download here.

Here’s how I can help…

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P.S. — The Elixir Shop is open. Merch for heroines in the middle of reinventing everything. New items added regularly. You’ll know your phrase when you see it.